I wrote this a long time ago (in 2003), but I still think it's nice:

"don juan says it is important to forget your personal history in order to stop the world. abandon your friends, your lovers, your family. they all create, through their opinions, sheets of a personality with which they tuck you in at night. although most of us are not aiming to be warriors, we drop these people who are too judgmental. the ones with the harsh truth. after you've gotten over the niceness and the companionship it only takes one shared secret. we've all been there, always late at night, always laying around. 'i've never told anyone this before...' staring up at the ceiling, fidgeting. we've all been there."

It's like a letter I wrote to my future self. Stumbled upon it, now, while I'm wrestling with this desire to be nicer.

We never asked each other, "What do you mean?" You know that person. You have an exchange in public and smile, crinkly-eyed, at each other because it is a shared laugh, only for the two of you. I thought, maybe I thought, I could wipe away the anger and the negativity. But it turns out I'm moody too, I guess, and he once said, "You don't realize you have the power to completely break me apart with one sentence." Well, I'm trying again now for the fifth time to make something with this little heart and these little hands and I'm feeling very small. Looking inside from the outside, there are hand-holds handy but my foot-falls still travel too far away. I don't know what to say, honey, just let me go out back to stand motionless, bare skin in the grass, mindful of slugs, exhaling up towards the clouds.